To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
