Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
