Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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