here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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