why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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