i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize