Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
