Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize