i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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