Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
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It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
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so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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