drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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