id be glad to
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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