arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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