I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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