I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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