I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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