yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize