if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
