She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
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