don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
