seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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