i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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