He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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