I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
