Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
