At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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