I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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