sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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