return my video game
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
