I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
