I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
