He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
