Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
