That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
