I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
