Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
