If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
