Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize