you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize