I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
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And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
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it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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