bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i will never coherently bang her
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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