nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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