I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize