There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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