i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just had sex on a roof
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
