Small penises have feelings too.
We named our party play list daddy issues
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
