i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
