He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
