I feel like I'm in dance class right now
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
