No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Randomize
