I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You are a genius and a whore.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
