I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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