It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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