Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
