But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
