I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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