I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
