Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
