Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
