Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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