'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We have started to decorate penises.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
