I must be too annoying 4 u.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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