So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
