theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
