I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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