I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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